


Yeah, But Who'd Look Best Naked??

by Bideroo



Series: Uncertainly Unrequited [1]
Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, Overly dramatic teenagers, Pre-Relationship, Silly Boys Playing Silly Games
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 10:23:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18689587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bideroo/pseuds/Bideroo
Summary: The Iwatobi High School Swim Club engages in some team-building at the behest of their ornery, blonde teammate.  It doesn't go as planned.





	Yeah, But Who'd Look Best Naked??

**Author's Note:**

> This was intended to be a wee one-shot, but a friend of mine said "BUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT??" so I went ahead and wrote that too. Hence splitting it into a series. I wanted it to be accessible to as many folks as possible, so I needed to be able to rate the first and second part separately. 
> 
> This is just a dorky little thing, so I hope someone enjoys it! Huggles!

"I fail to see the point in all of this," Rei huffed, brows furrowing and staring so intensely at the scrap of paper in his hand Nagisa was amazed it hadn't caught fire.

Leaning forward over the low table, Nagisa swept his gaze to each of his friends in turn, then let out a tinkly little chuckle. Haru felt his hands clench into fists. That laugh was never, ever a good omen.

"I TOLD you, Rei-chan! Team-building! It's a team-building exercise! C'mon, it'll be hilarious!" Nagisa wheedled, noting the storm clouds gathering on Haru's face, and turned innocent, puppy-dog eyes to Makoto. "Right, Mako-chan? And it'll be anonymous anyhow! No one will ever know who wrote what, so who cares?"

Fairly certain one could fry an egg on his overheated cheeks, Makoto stammered quietly before sucking in a breath. "I just… How is this team-building? It seems… really personal."

"It IS personal!! It's a way for all of us to grow closer!" With an eye-roll reminiscent of a parent explaining the tenth 'why' down a seemingly endless decision tree of childhood curiosity, Nagisa pulled himself to his knees and tossed pencils at his three friends. "Just do it. What does it even matter! We're supposed to be having fun! I bet if nothing else, this will get us all laughing! Okay? Don't forget to disguise your writing!!"

"That makes no sense, Nagisa-kun. Anonymity is somehow supposed to bring us closer? This entire exercise serves no purpose. I, personally, would rather enjoy the video games Makoto-senpai was kind enough to bring over." Eyes darting around the table, Rei found his own irritation fading as he took in his friends' expressions; eager, angry, and mortified. He wrestled with the giggle trying to erupt at Makoto's tomato-tinted face, finally slamming it to the mat as he regulated his features into a practiced calm.

Unaware of his foot pressing on the metaphorical accelerator, Haru slid his hand out, plucking the pencil from the table with a shrug. "Whatever," he mumbled, his monotone at complete odds with the mountain range that was his furrowed brows, and turned his back to the table, scribbling.

"Yay, Haru-chan!" Nagisa squealed, making an elaborate show of hiding his own writing from the others.

Makoto glanced apprehensively to Rei, who sighed resignedly and began carefully scrawling on his own slip. The battle had been lost, and Makoto quickly capitulated in the face of overwhelming odds. It didn't take long, and the silence that blanketed the room once pencils were down and papers were flipped was nearly thick enough to chew. All parties felt a strange 'upping of the ante', as if something intangible had shifted, and unbeknownst to them, they had matching, simultaneous urges to destroy the small squares of paper in front of them, cowering before the impending calamity.

A surprise to literally no one, Nagisa was the first to recover. "Well then! Um! Everyone toss their answer in here!" he chirped, the strained edge to his voice commendably well hidden, and held up a tipped ballcap. Gritted teeth and narrowed pupils abounded, even Haru's normally stony gaze betraying his fear. Trembling, four hesitant hands placed their kindling on the funeral pyre of their adolescent lives and stared as Nagisa churned the slips (because if there is anything more terrifyingly dramatic and exceedingly emotional than a teenaged boy, it can only a group of the same).

Suddenly dumping the contents of the hat to the table, Nagisa quickly flipped the two sheets up that landed writing-down, and four sets of eyes scrutinized the spread. "Um.." Makoto squeaked.

"So much for anonymity," Rei breathed, his face lighting up like a seedy bar's 'open' sign. Snorting, Haru stood and headed for the kitchen, promising to bring back snacks, a rare wisp of a smile twitching his lips.

"Well, this is kind of awk-"

"Perhaps we could try out that video game now! As in, right now," Rei nearly hollered, interrupting Nagisa's squirmy admission, snagging a controller and studiously avoiding meeting his friends' gazes, lest the raging wildfire roaring across his cheeks burn his entire being, bones and all, to '200 sieve'-level dust.

"Oh Rei-chan… Your face…" Nagisa began to giggle, and Rei couldn't even muster a response, focused as he was on desperately seeking the sweet, ignorant kiss of death in whatever form his mind could offer up- though he was dreadfully lacking in practical ideas (it was short notice, after all). Dropping the useless game controller, Rei folded his fiery, traitorous visage into his tucked up knees.

Openly and uproariously cackling by now, Nagisa quickly snapped a photo with his phone and tapped out a message.

 

(5:43 pm)  
Nagisa: RIN-CHAN!! Hahahaahaa! Check this out! We all  
secretly filled out slips of paper listing which member of  
the team we thought would look best naked! We weren't  
supposed to know who wrote what, but… 

 

Hitting send, Nagisa quickly added the picture, displaying 4 sheets of paper, mortifying contents as follows: Rei, Makoto-senpai, Rei, and Rei.

"You didn't have to use 'senpai'," Makoto whimpered, fire-engine red from his hairline to his chest. Rei didn't bother with a reply. "I uh… If it makes you feel any better, I've only thought about you a couple times when I-"

"Do NOT, under any circumstances, finish that sentence!" Rei choked, and even Nagisa cowed in the face of the fresh horror Makoto had just wrought. Simmering in the bowel movement of humiliation they had all visited upon each other, the three waited in pained silence for Haru to return.

"Nagisa, do you seriously have nothing but pocky sti-" Haru halted at the door, mouth open, his fight or flight response twanging. "Um…"

The room was suddenly a flurry of activity, Makoto and Rei tripping over themselves to gather their things as Haru's eyes widened and Nagisa looked on with a tortured cringe. Stomping to the doorway, Rei turned back to the room while Haru instinctively slid away. "I forgot I have to finish an assignment. If you'll pardon me, I'll be taking my leave," Rei managed, his tone surprisingly steady and measured, Makoto flinching like he'd just been slapped. Rei stepped into the hallway before thinking better of it, and spun on his heel to stick his head back in. "And Nagisa-kun? SCREW your team-building."

As they listened to Rei's retreating footfalls, Makoto jerked his hands to his face. "Oh my GOD," he spat through his shaky fingers, almost a sob, and tore out of the room as well, leaving Haru boring ocean-blue holes into Nagisa's skull.


End file.
